Rhymes by Ogden Nash

Ogden Nash

          The Camel
          The camel has a single hump;
          The dromedary , two;
          Or else the other way around.
          I'm never sure. Are you?
          The Duck
          Behold the duck.
          It does not cluck.
          A cluck it lacks.
          It quacks.
          It is specially fond
          Of a puddle or pond.
          When it dines or sups,
          It bottoms ups.
          The Germ
          A mighty creature is the germ,
          Though smaller than the pachyderm.
          His customary dwelling place
          Is deep within the human race.
          His childish pride he often pleases
          By giving people strange diseases.
          Do you, my poppet, feel infirm?
          You probably contain a germ.
          The Termite
          Some primal termite knocked on wood
          And tasted it, and found it good!
          And that is why your Cousin May
          Fell through the parlor floor today.

          Celery, raw
          Develops the jaw,
          But celery, stewed,
          Is more quietly chewed.

          The Praying Mantis
          From whence arrived the praying mantis?
          From outer space, or lost Atlantis?
          glimpse the grin, green metal mug
          at masks the pseudo-saintly bug,
          Orthopterous, also carnivorous,
          And faintly whisper, Lord deliver us.

          The Ostrich
          The ostrich roams the great Sahara.
          Its mouth is wide, its neck is narra.
          It has such long and lofty legs,
          I'm glad it sits to lay its eggs.

          The Rhinoceros
          The rhino is a homely beast,
          For human eyes he's not a feast.
          Farwell, farewell, you old rhinoceros,
          I'll stare at something less prepoceros.
          The Turtle
          The turtle lives 'twixt plated decks
          Which practically conceal its sex.
          I think it clever of the turtle
          such a fix to be so fertile.
          The Cuckoo
          Cuckoos lead Bohemian lives,
          They fail as husbands and as wives,
          Therefore they cynically disparage
          Everybody else's marriage.